You Gonna Eat All That?

A fork in one hand, a pen in the other.

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Location: Virginia, United States

(Biscuit Girl)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Our Dog is Insane... (or A dog named Biscuit Pup)

We own a very sweet little dog. Let's call her biscuit pup. We adopted her from the animal shelter a year and a half ago. Our best guess is she's a Papillon, Cavalier Kings Charles Spaniel mix (with maybe a little Corgi thrown in).

99% of the time, she's a sweet loving little dog. The other 1% she is insane. That 1% comes out everyday about noon when the mailman arrives. We think in her little doggie mind, she's protecting us from this evil person who shoves stuff through our front door every day. And to better protect us, she must destroy everything that comes in through the mail slot. I'm convinced that this behavior is only reinforced by the fact that the mailman walks up to our front door, Biscuit Pup barks, snarls and attacks the incoming mail and the mail man leaves. She interprets this as successfully chasing away this bad person, thus she's a "good dog".

We've had entire issues of Consumer Reports destroyed. Biscuit Boy was particularly upset when she destroyed the annual car issue. vroom.

She's also bitten through (and removed chunk's from) Southern Living, several of Biscuit Boy's radio magazines, Cooking Light, etc. She doesn't discriminate, it's all edible. Thankfully she's not completely destroyed bills, although we've sent a few back to the phone company with teeth marks in them.

We knew that we had to do something to stop this insanity. What we came up with was to remove the inside flap of the mail slot and replace it with a plastic trash can. We cut a hole in the side so the mail could fall into it and then screwed it into the back of the front door. Genius! It worked great.........for a while. One day I noticed teeth marks along the bottom edge of the trash can. seems our little angel was still trying to eat the mail but was thwarted by the trash can. No matter, the mail was safely in the can each and every day sans teeth marks and drool.

Then I saw it...........two holes along the top edge of the trash can. Fang marks. That little beast some how jumped up and bit the top of the trash can! Over the next few days we noticed a small tear and more teeth marks along the top edge of the can.

I was actually home one day when the mail arrived and witnessed the carnage with my own eyes. If only I had a video camera. It went something like this.......the mailman walks up to the front door. Biscuit Pup is going nutso at the front door, barking, growling scratching at the window. The mailman lifts the outside flap of the mail slot and pushes our mail into the can. Biscuit Pup leaps up, clamps her jaws on the top edge of the can and is hanging on it, shaking it for all it's worth.

Needless to say, she eventually tore this can off the door (did I mention it was held in place with four screws). So now we're back to square one.

Some days the mailman will just leave our mail in between the storm door and the front door. Which I'm sure pisses off the dog. But he will occasionally still put mail through the door. Yesterday I came home to find a sample of Tide I had requested was here. Unfortunately, the dog found it before I did. I spent this morning mopping the foyer because there were little blue foot prints all over the tile and the dog smelled suspiciously like Tide. Guilty as charged.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, I know this is over two years later, but did you ever figure out what to do? I was laughing hysterically hoping that at the end of the article I would find some sort of solution. My baby girl, Andi, does the same thing. I always think I dog-proof the house only to find that the mail is something I can't stop her from while I'm at work. Let me know if you have any suggestions! Thanks.

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same problem. The mail comes in through the mail slot of my rowhouse. My german shepherd is always trying to bite the mail as it gets pushed in - he really isn't that interested once the mail is in and on the floor. So the damage is not much to the mail itself (other than occasional bitemarks from trying to grab it as it was coming in) - its more the mailslot inside the house has been ripped off the door. In 3 seconds, he can get 3 out of the 4 bolts holding it in out. I don't know what to do - inside the house, the mailslot sticks halfway out the door like a tongue! I had it repaired once and he ripped it out next day in 5 seconds - back to square on. That aside, he is a very good dog!

3:23 PM  

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