You Gonna Eat All That?

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Location: Virginia, United States

(Biscuit Girl)

Sunday, February 27, 2005

SNOW! Get to the store for milk and bread!

The weatherman uttered that nasty four letter word that starts with "S" today. SNOW and not just a little flurry, a full blown snow storm is heading our way. In fact the National Weather Service issued a Heavy Snow Warning ..... eeek!

And why is it just our luck that we actually do need milk and bread?! Did the weather gods peer into our cupboards last night and think "They're almost out of milk and need bread.......Hmmm time for a storm......." So poor Biscuit Boy is trudging off to the store to fight the panicking masses who have no doubt filled their carts with provisions to last a month or more.

For those of you lucky enough to live warmer environs, let me describe the typical Southern "OH MY GOD, IT'S GONNA SNOW!" list. (do you detect a note of sarcasm in my writing?)
1. Rush to the grocery store, don't bother checking the fridge or cabinets to get your shopping list, there's no time, snow's headin' this way!

2. Go to the milk aisle, get at least 5 gallons of milk. What? They're already out of 2%! No matter just grab 5 gallons of whatever they have and hurry to the bread aisle.

3. The bread aisle may be as depleted as the milk aisle. Use the same guidelines as you did for the milk, just grab the first 5 loaves you can.

4. Snacks. You seriously don't think you're gonna survive on milk and bread while you're snowed in, you have to have chips, cookies, pretzels, etc.

5. Toilet paper. After all the milk and bread and snacks, what are you thinking? Find the largest double roll pack left, get two if you have more than 4 people in the house.

Finally stand in line at the check out for an hour, curse the idiots in front of you for panicking and getting so much stuff (not that your cart is overflowing) and get home before the first flake falls.

Now I wasn't raised to panic when it snows, in fact, we were pretty calm about it. I lived in NY when I was a kid and snow was just another part of winter. Life went on, schools stayed open and nobody panicked. NY was also much better prepared for snow than a lot of Southern states. From Kindergarten thru 10th grade, I only remember school closing twice in NY because of blizzards and snow measuring in feet.

Flash forward to my first winter in Tennessee. My family had just moved to Knoxville in early December when I was a teenager. One morning, mom comes into our room to let us know that they have cancelled school because of the snow. WHAT?! We ran to the window expecting to see a full blown blizzard with snow up to the windows. What a surprise when we looked out and could still see grass! What the %$#*, where was the snow? We didn't realize at the time that the entire state of TN had only 18 snow plows or that the terrain wasn't as flat as NY or that Tennesseans lost all their good sense when the first snow flake touched their windshields. Slowly over the next 15 or so years, the snow panic syndrome got hold of me much like a lot of southern-isms. Snow is now a time of multicultural tug-o-war for me. The NY part of me says not to panic, it's just a few inches of snow. The TN part of me immediately wants to hit the panic button. Geesh..... I'll be happy when Spring arrives.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's sad is that I'm from Connecticut, and still see people rushing to stock up before a storm. I think the local news reports just add to the thinking - if you see everyone else at the market, you better get down there, too!

5:49 PM  

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