You Gonna Eat All That?

A fork in one hand, a pen in the other.

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Location: Virginia, United States

(Biscuit Girl)

Thursday, August 31, 2006


Look at this face, is this not the sweetest little dog ever. Well, yes. Most of the time she is. However, she has one issue with our mailman. She wants to eat him and the mail he delivers.

Last year I posted about our insane dog, Sophie. Each and everyday when he arrives to deliver the mail, the dog goes into insane mode. This sweet little dog turns into a snarling, growling hell hound.

And to add to the enjoyment, our mail usually comes through the front door mail slot. I say usually because our mailman has been nice enough to leave the mail between the storm door and the front door. It's only when we have a sub on the route that the mail goes through the door into the awaiting jaws of destructo-dog. She's shredded Conusmer Reports, Southern Living, and other magazines, countless pieces of junk mail (good dog) and the occassional bill.

We thought we were safe from destruction with the mail being placed between the doors, but no. If there is anything near the front door, it becomes her target. If she can't get to the mail or the mailman whatever she can get her little teeth on will do.

Things like our neighbors newspapers that we were picking up for them while they were out of town, a bag with our new phone books (and keep in mind that our phone books are about 4" thick) and most recently a 1 gallon water jug.

Jim left two water jugs by the front door this weekend and when the mail arrived on Monday, Sophie took a chunk out of one.......then it tipped over. Thankfully with the bitten side facing up so only about 1/3 of the water leaked out. But I still came home to a wet foyer and one very satisfied dog. I told the mailman the other day that he'd have a nice break while we were on vacation. He laughed and said thanks. (But I really think he's gonna miss seeing the insane one every day.)



Blogger Dough-Boy said...

"Smithers, Release the hounds !!"

I've been witness to the destruction from this beast. You want to stop her, but you can't stop laughing to get up and stop her. I've seen Sophie leave teeth marks all the way through a Southern Living mag. I've even seen her grab the mail as it came through the slot, shake it for all it's worth, toss it up in the air and catch it again before it hit the floor.

Of course it doesn't help it that you try to tease her occasionally by banging hte flap on the door making her think the mailman is here.

You need to video tape it one day and put it up here.

2:17 PM  
Blogger PatL said...

I read somewhere once that the reason dogs go ballistic over mailmen is because it's been 100% effective in the past. Yes, every single time she goes ballistic, that mailman goes away. If she stops going ballistic, he might come through the door, and then where would we all be?

So you absolutely must reward her for her diligence and effectiveness. Perhaps she'd like a nice Cats & Kittens magazine to shred, or how about this nice Postal Service magazine to rip to pieces?

Just a suggestion. :o)

11:44 PM  
Blogger Dough-Boy said...

Sophie also chases away the motorcycles and the squirrels. And you're right, they've always gone away.

Good Dog !!!???!!!!

7:51 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

You guys crack me up.......

8:38 AM  
Blogger Dough-Boy said...

One thing you can be thankful least it wasn't the trash bag, a bottle of soda or even a bottle of oil. although a bottle of soda would be pretty funny to watch, but not to clean up. Neither would the oil.

And of course at least it wasn't some thing harmful to people or pets.

Here's a Christmas card idea of the mailman...drop the card though the slot and have Sophie tear into it, and then stick it in the envelope for him. Sign it, "Love, Sophie" LOL...

Have fun on vacation....

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful dog! She reminds me of the first dog I ever loved... what breed is she?

8:42 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

She's a Papillon mix. We think the rest is Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and/or Corgi.

2:43 PM  
Blogger sher said...

LOL!! I loved reading this! She is so sweet looking. But, I get such a kick out of imagining her doing that.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Destructor is hysterical! I also saw a Dog Whisperer episode though about someone who got sued by a mailman over a destructo-dog - your mailman sounds fairly normal and like he has a sense of humor though!

3:34 AM  

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